[identity profile] phoenix-bellamy.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] bus_riders
TITLE: Unspoken (from the song by Lacuna Coil)
AUTHOR: Akira14 aka phoenix_bellamy
SERIES: Everwood
RATING: PG-13 for the language.
CHARACTERS: Ephram reflecting upon his friendship with Bright.
SPOILERS: General spoilers up to ep 4x04.
DISCLAIMERS: The characters whom I refer to in this drabble are not mine but property of Everwood UTAH. (Berlanti, Mimoun etc...)

AUTHOR NOTES: English is not my first language, I wrote this really in the spur of the moment and I hope I've not made too many mistakes.
I'll be glad if someone would like to beta-read my works :)



And it doesn't matter how I feel now, anything at all, does it?
No, obviously it doesn't.
"Yes it does." you would say.
You wouldn't be the one to let me down, not after the lecture I received when me and Amy were still together (ouch, heart skipped a bit Ephram, stop thinking about her), yet Hannah stands in the way.
Not that resent her for that, it's something completely natural...As I said, I did the same.
Just now I realise how it hurts to be left aside by your best friend. Well, more than that it's even a little sad to think you're my only friend. Damn being so reserved. And a whining sarcastic little bitch, you would add. Huge drama queen.
We have never been short of compliments on each other.
Yet, it's not like I would show off my jealousy. Damn, it sounds so gay.
Not that I've any problem with gay people, or homosexuality in general. Just, I'm not a fag.
Though, everyone realised that since day number one when I met Amy so I'm actually rambling...What was I going to say?
Oh yeah, you worry about the piano and I can't worry about you ''new found maturity"?
I mean, I'm trying to come to terms with the fact you won't be the same Bright for your whole life. Yet, seeing people change is what scares me the most.
Yeah, it scares the hell out of me...'Cause my tragic flaw still remain the same: my inability to change.
"You're the same spoiled kid...You've changed at all..." My father's words resonate over and over again in my buzzing ears.
If I really can't change at all...Will you always be there for me, Bright?
Will ya?

I step into the living room, you're happily chatting with Hannah.
I think I'll go studying at Sam's, leaving you and your lovely girlfriend to coo like the lovebirds you two actually are.
I know it matters to you how I feel now, I know you would be more than happy to share my thoughts, I know better than anyone out there how much our friendship means to you.
I know, I know, I know.
Yet I can't express these fears without sounding to you like an angsty girl in her PMS*...God I even sound like that to myself.
If only I could have the same selfconfidence I've with my Dad in my daily life...But I cannot.
So, all of these have to remain unspoken.

Date: 2005-10-26 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lolabelleb.livejournal.com
So natural. Ephram's musings about Bright. Good story.

Date: 2006-01-25 12:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danosulik.livejournal.com
I second that.

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